Seriously?©

If you are a devoted SL blogger like me (cue laugh track) then you are probably also a devoted reader.  Now, there are TONS of blog sites out there that do things correctly… hell, all you have to do is look at my sideboard over there and you’ll see some great sites to get you started.  But anyone with a computer and a keyboard can put a blog together and sometimes you delve into the flea market of blogs… cheap, sometimes a diamond in the rough, usually just a smelly old guy licking pennies and trying to sell you the “CHiPs Hummel Collection”.  I seem to have a penchant for filling you in on the details around you that you may be missing, so I’ll give you my take on the common people who blog.

This blog pertains to YOU, the person who doesn’t go as far as getting something like wordpress to express herself.. instead you make do with the tools around you (Facebook, MySpace, SLProfiles, etc).  Giving you a blog is comparable to taking the whole “Million monkeys in a room with a million typewriters and eventually getting the complete works of Shakespeare” thing, and reducing it to 3 monkeys, an Etch-a-sketch, and a ziploc bag of banana-flavoured Dip-n-Dots.

No one wants to know your mood is “Cantankerous” today… most of your friends don’t even REALLY know what it means anyways.  If you’re having a rough spot in your life, what makes you think that Rhiana wrote “Please don’t stop the music” for you?  Even if you feel compelled to associate your life with a popular song, telling your blogging audience the name of the song is sufficient… you don’t need to post the damn lyrics.  If I wanted to know the lyrics to your crappy life, I would google them just like you did.

If you are a DJ in SL (cause where else would you be a DJ?  It’s like saying “If you’re a stripper (I mean in SL)… no one reading an SL blog is an ACTUAL stripper… they’re all out lying to their parents about what they do for a living) then it’s cool to blog about where you’re playing and what the theme is… for God’s sake, don’t post your damn playlist.  If I missed your pretentious, self-serving, contrived and pedantic musical tastes… I really don’t need a recap… (“Oh shit he played Crazy Bitch… I wonder what THAT song sounds like”).  Maybe you can make a blog JUST about the bullshit music you spew out… just make sure to tag it as “EMO” so that I can ignore it in my search features.

Lastly, if you’re going to make a blog that is intended to keep people abreast of your happenings, I encourage it.  I personally might not be interested but I’m going to bet that someone is.  HOWEVER, if you’re going to blog about your personal life, make it legible and use proper English.  I read A LOT.  When I run out of books to read, I read shampoo bottles, matchbooks, Russian tech manuals, anything I can get my hands on.. and I don’t stop until it’s done.  I have a voracious appetite for the written word.  There is one novel, however, that I put down after about the 50th page or so, and I’ve never even been slightly interested in going back to it…. Dolores Claiborne.  This damn thing rambles on and on and the whole time it’s told by Dolores herself in her local dialect… it so annoyed the piss outta me that I didn’t even see the movie when it came out.  If your personal blog is written anything like Delores Claiborne, I will make it my personal mission to contact you in game and let you know EXACTLY what I think about your writing style.

There you have it.  Shout outs to my favorite bloggers Elle, Laryn, and Fae.  Stay tuned next time and we’ll see how else I can summarily judge your life’s accomplishments :)

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