Seriously?© I’m a DJ in SL. I’m not saying I’ve been doing it forever, but I have some experience. Because of this little bit of experience and a lifetime of listening to RL DJs, I feel that I am qualified to comment on the following:

Some Common Types of DJs in SL

The Skating Rink

This person has spent too much time around those crappy DJs that work the roller rinks and Matterhorn rides at the carnival. They usually want to add that false air of excitement that can only come from a diet of churros and over salted pretzels hastily eaten between lustful thoughts of underage sex and urinating in a half empty bottle of Gatorade. Typical day includes waking up at 3pm, shaking the fleas and deer ticks out of the clothes on the floor, and making his way to the communal shower in his trailer park to wash away the previous night’s debauchery. On the plus side, he gets to play all of his favorite music such as “I Want to Move it, Move it” and “I Got the Power” 15 times a day.

Typical Live Break

HEY EVERYBODY, WELCOME TO THE BEST PLACE IN ALL OF SL !!!! OH SHIT ITS SO AWESOME HERE THAT YOU ARE LUCKY TO HAVE FOUND US WITH THE PATHETIC TRAFFIC WE NORMALLY GET ON THIS SIM !!! IF YOU WANT THE MUSIC TO GO FASTER, GIVE ME A /HOO !!!!!!

The Over Explainer

This guy must have read the “DJing for Dummies” book, because he runs it by the numbers and is fascinated by the behind the curtains activity going on. If you request a song from him, you better be prepared to specify the exact artist, song title, publisher, and product number from the Sony catalog… otherwise you’re about to enter a 20 minute discussion on the pros and cons of the original versus the remake versus the a capella version versus the bootleg garage recording from the original master tapes which surfaced in 1997 while cleaning out the attic. Its better to just email this DJ the exact song you want played… otherwise this way leads to madness.

Typical Live Break

The song you just heard was the “Crazy Bitch” by Buck Cherry and the next song youre about to hear is “Love Me Dead” by Ludo, a small alternative band from St Louis, Missouri. Ludo gets their name from a character in the film Labyrinth. It started when the duo of lead vocalist and guitarist Andrew Volpe and guitarist Tim Ferrell played occasionally around St. Louis. Deciding to pursue Ludo full-time, they expanded to a five-piece group in 2003 with Tim Convy on moog, bassist Marshall Fanciullo and drummer Matt Palermo. Ludo recorded their self-titled debut album, Ludo, and released it on their own indie label, Redbird Records in August of 2003. For the next few years, the band toured extensively with other midwestern bands, such as The Dog and Everything, Anything But Joey and Upside. This exposure brought them moderate indie success. The band returned to the studio in 2005 and recorded the EP Broken Bride. Broken Bride is a rock opera about a man who travels through time to attempt to save his wife from dying in a car accident in 1989. The opening track, “Broken Bride: Part 1,” was a song that originally stood alone before evolving into the full opera. In recent years, Ludo has been putting on themed concerts at The Pageant in St. Louis. These include HalLUDOween, A Very Ludo Christmas, and Cinco de Mustache. Their fun outlook and interactive shows gained the attention of major labels Capitol Records and Island Records. Oh shit, that song ended while I was talking about it, well this next song youre listening to is “Birdhouse in your Soul” by They Might Be Giants. They Might Be Giants started in New York when….

The Crowd Interacter

This poor guy must be light on friends, because he has decided that YOU are to be his new BFF… to do that, he’s going to play various contests and games to force you (hopefully) to interact with him… things like “Who’s having a good time” and “If you love the DJ make some noise”. In the end, this guy is mostly harmless as long as you don’t open yourself up to providing the deep personal information he’s looking for, as seen below

Typical Live Break

Whew, I’m a drunk SOB tonight, anyone else out there drinking like me? Hey, here’s a great idea for a contest, send me an IM confessing some sexual activity that you love to have performed on you and I’ll announce the best one to the crowd. If you talk slow and use my name when describing it, I’m pretty sure you’ll win the big prize, know what I mean?

The Sexy Voice

Vapid… that’s the best word I can use to describe this DJ. Now, I’m not saying that every DJ with a sexy voice fits into this category, but I AM saying that there are DJs out there who have absolutely NO talent and are getting by solely on the way their voice sounds. They have no clue how the software works that they are using, no idea what a playlist is even all about, and if you asked them who came first, Ozzy or the Jonas Brothers, they would ask you if Ozzy was one of the Wiggles. They are probably hot to look at, perhaps even have sexy animations, but when they open their mouth, you can’t POSSIBLY expect to walk away smarter then when you started.

Typical Live Break

Mmmmm, hey there sexies…we are shaking our asses and playing the hot creamy music you request… next up is a band I think is from Pittsburgh or something… Ram Stine *giggle* or however it’s pronounced. Oh I’m so horny up here… if you stuff my tip jar, I’ll make sure to please you however I can… mmmmm

So you see, there are a variety of DJs to choose from… be informed… make good choices. That’s all for me today… if you like what you’ve read, drop me a comment and let me know. Peace Out, Fuckers

Special thanks to Elle Kirshner for mentoring me and to Wikipedia for info on Ludo. Remember kids, plagiarism is a crime. Cite your sources.